'Field of Indians: The Attack of the Pizza Hoarders

So....it was yet another glorious day in the Field. The birds were chirping, the breeze was breaking, and the Indians . . . well . . . there are Indians here in this shitpie town. The RecCenter here on campus decided to host a bowling outing equipped with free food, soda, and . . . bowling . . . So we get to the bowling alley and it's quiet, not too many students. And then . . . like a third world tsunami...the Indians collided. On both surrounding lanes were Indians with no volume control, athletic ability, or understanding of bowling etiquette. I decided to ignore them and enjoy the Bud Light and friends. Before I know it I'm on pace to break my personal best (199). I'm in the ninth frame needing to pick up a simple 2-pin spare to secure the 200 breakage. I approach . . . deep breath . . . think of boobs for a second . . . and then out of the corner of my Red/White/Blue eye, I see a wild-eyed, nondomesticated, cow toting Indian stepping over the line on his lane and stumbling on the greasy hardwood. Distracted, I miss the spare giving me a 177 going into the tenth. Needing to turkey out for the record, I fail and decide to chug my beer instead of ordering 5 hamburgers and eating them while chanting "In Vishnu We Trust." As if this isn't enough, the free food (pizza) arrives. I flash back to early childhood...I'm watching cartoons and some ants have just stormed a picnic like fucking Normandy and covered a chicken leg..leaving nothing but the bone in their wake. I snap to and the ants have turned to Indians and they are eating all the fucking free pizza 2 or 3 slices per person. I was surprised because I don't think they were curry pizzas. In conclusion...do not bowl next to hungry Indians while trying to beat your personal best (whatever the sport may be).