Unofficial..sweet Unofficial...how I love thee... I have returned to The 'Field rejuvinated. Here's the highlight reel.
TIMES:
Thursday: 11pm - 330am
Friday: 630am - 400am
Saturday: 1230pm - 730am
Sunday: Awake at 930am
Day by Day Activities:
Thursday: Went to Brothers with Robert and my brother Jon. We drank heavily and capped the night with illegalities on the quad. When we got back to our rally point - being the Ellie, Jackie, Jean, Terry house - we woke up the entire living room full of downers sleeping on the couches. Where did I sleep --- floor.
Friday: Woke up at 630am to the downer people complaining about how my brother, Robert, and I woke their lame asses up earlier. It wasn't my fault they were dorks and decided to go to bed at 10am when much fun was had. The keg began flowing at 8am along with pancakes, eggs, and toast. From 8am until 1pm, I helped kill the keg, played drinking Jenga, took pics, noticed that every single person hated TejasChaos, etc...after which we decided to hit the bars.
H A Z I N E S S S E T S I N . . . . .
We got to Geovanti's and decided on shots and darts and beer. I don't remember leaving the bar...
PEPPERED MEMORIES: Hopping the beer garden to sneak into Legend's with Cherie...thinking the new Bar Louie on campus sucked...closing Brother's with Dan Johnson doing shots of Goldschlager at the bar while everyone else was getting kicked out and feeling like I was going to puke on the bar...I am laughing by myself right now because I don't remember anything else that didn't involve me being an asshole...so I'll skip to those...
ASSHOLE MOMENTS:
1) (this one was told to me the next day...I don't remember this) Before the Legends sneakage, Cherie and I went to Jimmy John's. I ate my sub before she even started on hers. Upon finishing, I asked her for a bite of her sandwich that she hadn't touched yet...after two massive bites, she wrapped it up and we hopped into Legends. She left her sandwich with our friends at a table and went to the bathroom. Then I ate the rest of her sandwich and denied it. Soon after, I knocked over a full beer and blamed someone else...
2) (Clarified by Marty earlier today) I met Marty Mac up at a party somewhere...my hat got stolen by some psycho lady..so I stole it back then stole hers...apparently she got annoying so I threw her hat over their balcony to random girls passing by and screamed, "Do you want a hat?" One said sure, put the hat on, and left. I told the psycho lady that I threw the hat over the balcony and I'd get it...but I left instead...
3) While at Geo's the first time (I think...our Geo-patronage scattered the day) a frat pack was singing to some lame ass music and throwing each other's hats. I got a hold of some hat and threw it behind the bar...at the time I was wearing Harry Potter's invisibility cloak, so although I was sitting at the table next to them...I really wasn't...
4) I hung up on my mom 3 times...
5) After a certain time, Murphy's starting charging insane cover (10$ for 19-21 and 5$ for 21 and up). Not buying their logic and requesting debate on the matter, I ever so gently hopped the railing separating the main bar area from those still in line. Forgetting that I had traded my invisibility cloak for shots of Goldschlager at Bar Louie, the doorman spotted me. Dressed like some douche (et. al. pastel polo, collar popped, earring, geled hair and articificially faded jeans), I felt I had a chance even though he told me to get the fuck out. I procrastinated until a steroid-induced embolism burst in his brain and he dropped to the ground. Figuring I should leave before being suspect, I tell him very politely that Murphys sucks and he should have worn a shirt that wasn't so loud. I leave...a winner in every respect...
I time travel to the Johnson's - more illegalities - time travel to the next day...
Where did I sleep --- Ty Ty's bed.
SATURDAY: Chilled all day non-alcoholically because I threw up after trying to play football. Post-3am brought some surprises...I witnessed two morons chug Maple Syrup, spray each other in the nose/eyes/mouth with hair spray, and eat magnets...I like surprises. Stayed up all night for some reason and finally crashed at 730am.
Where did I sleep --- floor.
To conclude, I love UIUC, and can't wait to get back. Until then, I'll rant about the 'Field..adios.
PEPPERED MEMORIES: Hopping the beer garden to sneak into Legend's with Cherie...thinking the new Bar Louie on campus sucked...closing Brother's with Dan Johnson doing shots of Goldschlager at the bar while everyone else was getting kicked out and feeling like I was going to puke on the bar...I am laughing by myself right now because I don't remember anything else that didn't involve me being an asshole...so I'll skip to those...
ASSHOLE MOMENTS:
1) (this one was told to me the next day...I don't remember this) Before the Legends sneakage, Cherie and I went to Jimmy John's. I ate my sub before she even started on hers. Upon finishing, I asked her for a bite of her sandwich that she hadn't touched yet...after two massive bites, she wrapped it up and we hopped into Legends. She left her sandwich with our friends at a table and went to the bathroom. Then I ate the rest of her sandwich and denied it. Soon after, I knocked over a full beer and blamed someone else...
2) (Clarified by Marty earlier today) I met Marty Mac up at a party somewhere...my hat got stolen by some psycho lady..so I stole it back then stole hers...apparently she got annoying so I threw her hat over their balcony to random girls passing by and screamed, "Do you want a hat?" One said sure, put the hat on, and left. I told the psycho lady that I threw the hat over the balcony and I'd get it...but I left instead...
3) While at Geo's the first time (I think...our Geo-patronage scattered the day) a frat pack was singing to some lame ass music and throwing each other's hats. I got a hold of some hat and threw it behind the bar...at the time I was wearing Harry Potter's invisibility cloak, so although I was sitting at the table next to them...I really wasn't...
4) I hung up on my mom 3 times...
5) After a certain time, Murphy's starting charging insane cover (10$ for 19-21 and 5$ for 21 and up). Not buying their logic and requesting debate on the matter, I ever so gently hopped the railing separating the main bar area from those still in line. Forgetting that I had traded my invisibility cloak for shots of Goldschlager at Bar Louie, the doorman spotted me. Dressed like some douche (et. al. pastel polo, collar popped, earring, geled hair and articificially faded jeans), I felt I had a chance even though he told me to get the fuck out. I procrastinated until a steroid-induced embolism burst in his brain and he dropped to the ground. Figuring I should leave before being suspect, I tell him very politely that Murphys sucks and he should have worn a shirt that wasn't so loud. I leave...a winner in every respect...
I time travel to the Johnson's - more illegalities - time travel to the next day...
Where did I sleep --- Ty Ty's bed.
SATURDAY: Chilled all day non-alcoholically because I threw up after trying to play football. Post-3am brought some surprises...I witnessed two morons chug Maple Syrup, spray each other in the nose/eyes/mouth with hair spray, and eat magnets...I like surprises. Stayed up all night for some reason and finally crashed at 730am.
Where did I sleep --- floor.
To conclude, I love UIUC, and can't wait to get back. Until then, I'll rant about the 'Field..adios.
posted by Eater @ 3:19 PM
1 Comments:
Joe,
Nice wrap-up. I just came across this post today (3/13). I forgot just how freaking ridiculous those days get, and how long a weekend seems in story form. I think that Tommy Jovi is coming to the barcrawl, which should be nice.
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