Comedy

So there was a span of 3 days where every little 18 and 19 yr-old girl I met here sought out my screen name on Facebook and tried making conversation with me. Most I did not remember, but the ones I did remember...well...

I saved this one conversation as proof that girls here are slower than Paul Konerko. This took place soon after I changed my profile pic to long haired Me...enjoy...note the sexual innuendos that go completely unnoticed...


Mandie7: Joe, whats up with your profile picture?
ledstixx524: i rapidly grew my hair out in the last 5 days
ledstixx524: haha
Mandie7: lol
Mandie7: I no like
ledstixx524: i just wanted to see how many people would post something about my hair on my wall...basically those who haven't seen me in a while
Mandie7: lol. So how are you liking classes??
ledstixx524: i gave up hair cuts for new years
Mandie7: Ohh, you look better with short hair!
ledstixx524: thats what everyone tells me...but i'm goin for a change...and i haven't had class yet
Mandie7: Change is good.... YOU HAVEN"T HAD A CLASS YET??? Why?
ledstixx524: im in grad school...classes meet once a week..my first one is tonight...another is online..and the other is the capstone that meets four weekends this semester
Mandie7: Wow, your lucky!
ledstixx524: yep I get lucky a lot...the only thing is that the capstone class meets friday from 6-9 and saturday from 9-9
ledstixx524: yes 12 hours
Mandie7: Wow. That sucks
ledstixx524: yep sucks hard...but that means three weeks out of four il have one class a week
Mandie7: That leaves a lot of time for alcohol!
ledstixx524: true...im trying to cut down on that too though...but i probably won't.. how are yur classes?
Mandie7: Good, I guess
Mandie7: Except for the one I have tonight from 6-9.30 which means that Im going to miss the basketball games
ledstixx524: what class?
Mandie7: Survey of the universe
ledstixx524: oh i heard thats interesting
Mandie7: Thats good, but I haven't discovered anyone else who is taking it
ledstixx524: maybe that'll be tonight's discovery
Mandie7: lol
Mandie7: I think it will be interesting b/c i like space and stuff
ledstixx524: i like stuff better than space
ledstixx524: but space is cool too
Mandie7: Yes
Mandie7: It just sucks that its 3.5 hours long
Mandie7: but not nearly as bad as your 12 hour class
ledstixx524: true. the long ones hurt
Mandie7: Yes
ledstixx524: have you had any other long ones?
Mandie7: Ya, last semester Business & Stats
ledstixx524: how did that one finish? rough?
Mandie7: Nope, it was fine b/c the teacher was great
Mandie7: Adil Muhammad
Mandie7: hes good
ledstixx524: That's the rumor
Mandie7: Yep
Mandie7: So what are you doing this weekend
ledstixx524: no plans...probably looking around campus for something to do...you?
Mandie7: Im not for sure either... I want to do something, but it seems like the same old people you know?
ledstixx524: yeah thats the bad thing about this place...youre here for a month and you do the same people
ledstixx524: im going to champaign next weekend
ledstixx524: should be great
Mandie7: I bet!
Mandie7: Hey, Im going to get off of here so i can get some stuff done before my class at 2
ledstixx524: yeah im getting off right now too...ill probably see you this weekend somewhere

Excursions and Tips

It's been a few weeks since my last post, but things move at a crippling speed here so developments needed some gestation... NEW DEVELOPMENTS: I'm interning at the state capitol again.

The snow storm hit last week and this crap school expectedly cancelled school for 2 or 3 days. I'm not sure because I didn't have class anyway. I only have class on Thursday (plus one online and another which meets one weekend a month). Then, legislative session was cancelled for the week. I spent last week doing absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be (Office Space). I taught some roommates how to play euchre and spades while drunk and that proved the difference-maker. We played cards until 4 or 5 am several nights, with some nights ending in snow fun. We'd go outside and jump in 5 ft snow drifts or do flips off the community picnic table.

Last weekend brought nothing new at all...I rented 6 movies after recently discovering that Hollywood video has a 5 movies for $5 deal on their oldies. So I rented one newby...Half Nelson...and 5 oldies:

1) The Great Escape: I enjoyed this 1963 flick way more than I thought I would. It was obvious that the soldiers were caught...and that's not good...but the film showed them trying to escape filled with almost childlike glee. It made me want to be a POW for a few weeks so I can dig tunnels and try to escape.

2) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974): The best horror movie I have ever seen. The camerawork gives the movie a constant visceral attitude that the overdone blood and guts of modern horror flicks fail to sustain. Rent this movie.

3) Event Horizon: In my opinion, you don't have to like sci-fi movies to appreciate this one. It's about a rescue vessel sent to retrieve a government ship that had disappeared 7 years prior. No one knows where it went...or what it brought back with it.... Sounds lame and cheesy but...no.

4) A Simple Plan: this move stars Billy Bob Thornton and Bill Paxton as brothers who find a duffel bag filled with millions in the woods. As the movie progresses, a 'simple plan' to hold the money until later is perverted into chaos. I don't want to spoil, so I will stop. It's directed by Same Raimi whose credits include The Evil Dead and Spider Man series, as well as For the Love of the Game and Indian Summer... He also makes Billy Bob act in this movie, not just play himself (drunken stereotypical hillbilly).

5) A Clockwork Orange: I can sum this movie up right now; Rape..Theft..Rape..Brawl..Jail..Rehabilitation..End. OK there's more...especially since it's Kubrick. Released in 1972, it's more futuristic Kubrick tackling a familiar theme of control similar to A Space Odyssey. The sets are colorful and funky revealing them as completely 70's, but somehow not hack. Anyway the future is not the bottom line in this movie. The bottom line: No one can be changed or controlled unwillingly. Just look for the futuristic typewriter.

THIS WEEK>>>>

The early days lived up to a blind man's expectations, but last night skyrocketed. Since I'm now working at the Capitol, I'm privy to certain events known as 'legislative receptions,' which really means 'open bar and free food so let's get fucked up'...so I did.

I went straight from the Capitol to the Hilton for the appetizer - The Illinois Firefigter Reception - where I broke the Ash Wednesday meatless rule by eating meatballs, ribs, and turkey. I drank many beers as well. Normal times. I also met some fellow interns...and now...
TIP...
When you first meet someone, it's frustrating to remember several names at once. So what you do is think of an adjective decribing that person that has the same first letter as the person's name. So last night, I met Lefty Leanne, Joyful Jasmine, and Professional Paul.

Anyway...after the reception, we went to a bar and played darts. For some reason, on a Wednesday, the Guiness girls were at this bar passing out free Guinness, Bass, and prizes. I won a new t-shirt, beads, and a glowing pin. I drank many free beers, won a few dart games, and forgot my debit card. Overall it was a raging success.

STAY TUNED....