HOME STRETCH

Thanksgiving break is over. Springfield found me, again. Although I miss Chicago, I don't mind Springfield anymore. It's amazing how great people can make such a shitty place bearable to the point of being fun. OK back to pissing and moaning...

Actually I have nothing to complain about. The new Incubus album "Light Grenades" came out today and lived up to my hype. I saw Clerks 2 last night and laughed a bit. I'm beating my roomates at foosball and darts. Wednesday night will bring drunken fun again...I already gathered a small group of winners for 50 cent beer night at the local hick shack (the same hick shack where dumb blondes spray mace and old men slap the asses of young women).

The girlfriend situation is quite over. I've talked to her once in the last two months and I rocked her I think. I just acted like I didn't care that she was in front of me. She left a little upset and without the 40 jello shots she pawned off on me. Fuck it. Jello shots rock, and its only logical that she sucks because she didn't want them. Hope she's happy in her anti-fun ditch...taking 2 hours to do the homework any moron could do in 10 minutes...pretending to be cool, but really being an anal bitch...and most likely getting cranked in the face by some dude's man mustard, only to find he'll be gone in 2 weeks because he found out what an aggressively boring and lame person she is.

Overall, I'm fiinshing up the semester strong...not very difficult here anymore. I'll be back in Chi December 15th or 16th for the X-Mas barcrawl that everyone who reads this better go on. Adios Bitches.

The past few weeks have been pretty good out here. The roomates I have now kick ass compared the the douche nuggets I lived with last year. These guys play darts, foosball, pool, drink beer (not whiskey sours with SoCo)... It's been great. If a foosball table owner should happen to read this, Saturday should be a little more interesting than the last time I played...

Last Friday I went on the first date since breaking up with that hermit I dated. Unfortunately the date bombed. She said Chile's was her favorite restaurant and I wanted to die right there. Everything was silent until she ordered herself a Coors Light, then about half-way down the bottle she got very talkative and semi-annoying. I didn't have anything with which to slit wrists so I drank a Bud and decided to be cordial and nice and never call her again after the night ended. She tried reaching me twice to no avail during the next week and left a mean message that made me chuckle.

So...drunken story time..

WED: Skipped my night class and drank beers before going to 50 cent draft night at the nearest wannabe-bar. I eventually get drunk and ask a short blonde girl, "How did you get into the bar if you're not 21?" She gets mad and says, "I'm 22." Then I say, "Oh wow you're 16 and you just got your license? Remember...green go, red stop." Then I tried to get all my friends to say it to her. She hated me...fun fun. Awake until 4am.

THUR: Went to class from 6-9pm. Then my roomate Justin and I went to see an advanced screening of Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny that was showing in our auditorium. I thought this movie was going to suck, but I loved it. If you're a fan of musicals and crazy hallucinations you have to see it. After the movie, Justin and I came back to the apartment and started drinking vodka. I made it with cranberry juice or something and he took shots and chased it with water. Other people showed up later, but all I remember is playing Paperboy on Nintendo until 4am and seeing Justin pass out while spooning a jar of peanut butter.

FRI: No work or class. I invited some people over, pulled two tables together, and had beer pong games until 3am. Nothing notable happened.

SAT: Some douchebag basketball player had a party at his off campus douche-lair. I entered sausage heaven at 10:30 and wanted to walk right out. Then while I was still having my first drink, 20 people showed up (most were girls) so I stayed to witness two dumb girls arguing over who drank their ration of vodka. I guess one chipped in 5$ and the other 10$. Someone thought the other drank their share and hid the bottle...blah blah blah girls are dumb.

SUN: My flag football teams wins the intramural championship by the score of 28-6; not as impressive as the Bears but I'll take another t-shirt. Nothing amazing happened during the game, we just won.

Also, I found out that I only need two more classes next semester in order to get my Masters, but since I need to stay full time I picked up what I hope to be the biggest bullshit class around: Computer Literacy. It's online and for idiots...so sign me up...

In looking at my previous posts, I realized that I have not updated my shenanigans...
For the past 3 weeks I've been throwing potatoes at random doors on campus after going to bars. From what I've heard, the complaints sound like this, "Well it's 3am so I'm obviously asleep and all of a sudden I hear a loud bang on our door. I'm startled, but when I answer it there's no one... only a smashed potato!" I ran out of potatos, so I threw a few lemons and called it a month. The Resident Advisors were looking for someone with a potato gun, so I played stupid until they found out it was me. No disciplinary action was taken, so I'm trying to think of something else that couls possibly get me in trouble.

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving break to see family, friends, dog, eat good food, and get away from this sorry ass town..even though its waaaay better than last year...partially because I'm single and hate the guts of my ex, and partially because I found the only 6 sane people on campus. I do still like being drunk around the insane ones, because I get to say things like..."I don't know what a penis is," and "This is my first time drinking, what should I do?"