Ummm...

During the two years I attended the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, I never joined a fraternity or associated with closed-minded exclusionaries...clonal weekend itineraries...douchebags. I enjoyed the fact that I met a crowd of people with distinct personalities who were not afraid of meeting anyone and everyone willing to enjoy themselves. Those other yahoos most likely graduated and got jobs where they could see the same people over and over, basically mimicking their college careers. This past week, though, I was immersed in a new world of people who operate outside of cliques, stranglehold careerisms, or office bureaucracy.

I began my first job as an Office PA (Produciton Assistant) on a feature length film at a Chicago production company on Thursday. As soon as I arrived at the Production Studio, I felt like I was going ot be hazed by hooded silhouettes wielding studded leather paddles in a basement dungeon rank with incense. This meat packing plant had no sign or distinguishing characteristics. I was greeted at the door by a cold, unforgiving doorbell sporting a horrific electro-metal chime chalkboard nails, but were followed by a soothing bored voice requesting my identity, which I quickly gave. The Wizard, or whoever, buzzed me in. I aimlessly strolled through the empty main floor of this warehouse while admiring the numerous grips, used for microphones and lights I guessed. The warehouse eventually ran into an office setting where I was greeted and immediately instructed to make some copies and read the script of the movie which will remain nameless due to the duet of confidentiality agreements I signed.

After copying, I sat in a room with three other people. While I read the script, I listened to phone calls regarding movie star transportatoin...hotel arrangements...craft service companies...hair stylists...producers...writers...directors...water trucks...film deliveries...etc... I spent the majority of the day, though, stuffed in a room, sorting, stapling, and paper-clipping 200 crew packets detailing payment methods and confidentiality; not an ideal first day.

My coworkers were very personable. They laughed, joked, and discussed as though they were at home goofing around with a computer game and making prank phone calls rather than organizing the produciton of a major motion picture. A few have worked on the production of many movies for several years and give me a window to years of experience, but I don't know if I can stand the lack of creativity involved with office production. Without technical knowledge or schooling, I can't become an Set PA, so the way I see it I have three main options..

1) Continue working as an Office PA, gradually move up the ranks until I become a Production Supervisor.
2) Go back to school and dive into the creative side of filmmaking
3) Spend a few months as an office PA making contacts and gaining understanding, and get a real job, do my own research, and write some great script that would automatically propel me into that other side.

Should I even consider 1 or 2? Is that blurry future and marginal security worth the sacrifice of a Master's Degree? I might enjoy it, but I'd miss those normalcies attached to a bland 9 to 5 job. The hours in production are insane, the work is sporadic, and the success is Pacific. I don't really want the Pacific, the questionable security, the bland 9 to 5 job, or the well planned future. I just wish I could only see three feet in front of me so I didn't have to deal with the constant logic or dissonant dejections abound in every possibility I presently face. For now, I'll work this movie...limit my future to tomorrow...vie for a production credit among a hundred names...deal with a business saturated with more cronyism than Chicago politics...and NOT GET SUCKED INTO THIS FILM WORLD THAT'S EAGER TO EMBRACE ME AT THE EXPENSE OF MY INDIVIDUALITY..