Fall Anti-Classic

After reading my last post, I'm sure that this will not come as a shock to anyone, but I have decided to indefinitely suspend any hope of a film career and teach a few classes at Triton College this Fall. I was hired as an adjunct faculty member and will be teaching two Total Fitness classes and a 7-week Health class. The two fitness classes won't be in a typical classroom setting. They'll be conducted in the fitness center, where I'll show whoever how to use the machines...nothing spectacular. The Health class, though, will involve a textbook, assignments, a syllabus, and all that fun stuff. I think that'll be a blast...fake torturing students like I was fake tortured will be fun.

[feyk tawr-cher] - an act whereby a teacher falsely frightens their students into thinking they will earn a grade worse than what they will actually be given.

Very early in my academic career, I figured out that teachers can't appear compromising or compassionate in any way. They act like total assholes most of the time and scare the students into trying their best. This makes total sense because, speaking as a student, and I tihnk I speak for the majority of them, I put forth the very least effort that would get me either an A or B. Without some kind of fear involved, neither my classmates nor I would ever have gone to class. My teachers knew what they were doing, but scared the shit out of most poeple while doing it. I'll use some of these tactics in class, but I'll be way more accessible to the students teaching at a community college, so I can't be too much of a dick. Maybe I'll show the gruesome drunk driving car crash videos, or maybe I'll create group exercises to inform people about the dangers of drugs, or maybe I'll just throw on I Know What You Did Last Summer and tell them that if you drink and drive you'll be killed by a guy with a hook.